Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize