the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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