hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
