I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
