Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
