And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
