what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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