I want to walk on stilts...naked
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I intend to get homeless drunk
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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