I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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