you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Randomize