the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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