im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
