There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize