Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
