Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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