okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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