I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
