He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize