The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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