why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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