How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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