It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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