you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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