Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
