careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
