Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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