11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
