did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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