lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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