We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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