soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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