where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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