And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
