I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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