remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
