no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
