there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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