I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
