My room smells like vodka and shame
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
