kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
