I hope mine doesn't look like that
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
