ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
