You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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