margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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