yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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