i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
