In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
