He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
