Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
