bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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