What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize