Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
