I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
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