we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
