There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
