Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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