i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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