Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
