I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
4 words: hood of his car
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
