I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
