stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
