So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize