So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
