he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
