I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
