My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
