glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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