ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
