She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
