capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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