He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
