Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
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