ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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